How time flies - The Grand Finale (Olympics and Beyond)

Where on Earth has the rest of the year gone since my last post? Well I guess the initial thought of the London Marathon blog ended in April once I had achieved my goal, but........anyway........

Sadly I managed to miss all the good bits of the year by not posting, so maybe a single addition to add now to bring my 2012 to a close will suffice with apologies as this will be a long post to come with so much happening between June and December.

So to the next and final instalment in the 2012 saga.

Once the excitement and build up to the London Marathon had passed I had the Olympics and Paralympics to look forward to. (Well the Paralympics at least).
With a week to go before the London Olympics the press was full of things going wrong and how it was going to be a great big mess. Don't we just love our British Press, always so supportive of everything we do in this country...NOT!!! Well weren't they proved wrong eh?

Anyway, from my own perspective, I was lucky to have been chosen from 250,000 applicants to be one of the 70,000, 2012 volunteers, who helped out at the Olympics and Paralympics to make sure everything ran  smoothly, and to coin a phrase "didn't we do well".

The main highlight for me has to be that I was in the Olympic park for the Paralympic closing ceremony right outside the stadium when all the fireworks were set off, having met Dame Kelly Holmes earlier that evening.
And having made loads of friends while there (not just that evening) and since, via various social groups, we still chat about our experiences while all around us yawn and raise their eyes heavenward.

It didn't quite stop there as since then I have managed to gatecrash a celebration of Games Makers in Eastleigh, have been invited to a Christmas Party at Radio Solent and interviewed by Julian Clegg (along with nearly a hundred others) and took part in the New Years Day Parade in London along with thousands of others to celebrate the New Year in with style. And, with a potential volunteer legacy link up with the local council, things could move forward yet again.
Now that's how to have a lot of fun with a GM role expected to only have been for 3 weeks.

So much more to come I feel.

The legacy of the games lives on in that others are finding that volunteering can be fun, and even if not at high profile events, people who put themselves out to help others for no reward other than the satisfaction of having done it are starting to find things they can be involved in.
For many they still seem to be looking for high profile events, for me....well time to get back to the volunteer role I have been doing for the past 7 years, (with the odd high profile application being submitted).

In the meantime my running has gone downhill, (how many times I have wished for a race that does just that). I lost all enthusiasm after the marathon, and in spite of a 2012 beginner group I found myself unable to motivate myself to get back to it properly, though I managed to fit in a Great South 10 mile, with a 2 minutes reduction in overall time compared to the previous year. (Fluke mostly and keeping myself fit with Bokwa -see previous posts for mentions of this and also more to come on that elsewhere)

So yet again it's time to dust off my running shoes and get back out there, my public awaits.....well the new beginner group for 2013 at least.

I guess to be fair this blog should come to an end. I have had fun writing most of it, and sadly neglected it once my London Marathon had been completed, but I guess that is to be expected.

Off to start a new one...... so follow me on my coaching adventures, from newbie to.....er....well we shall see.

All quiet on the Western Front

Time to beat in 2012

Things seem to be just ticking along at the moment. motivation still not high to get back training, and even though the beginner group has started and they all seem to be progressing well, at this rate a week or two more and I won't be keeping up with them much at all.
Time for some drastic measures to be taken. i.e. put some effort in.
For me the exercise is more as a result of how it makes me feel mentally rather than just physically, and I seem to have lost the mental ooomph to push myself. So, the challenge for the next few weeks is to recover that motivation to get out there and DO, rather than sit home and wallow. Mind you with the rain we have been having, going out to wallow (mostly in mud and puddles) seems to be the thing. A nice drop of sunshine in the evening is much nicer to encourage a little bit of fresh air and participation in the forest.
So, am back to looking for my friend Will Power again to get me back on the straight and narrow, after all training for the great South will not happen by itself.

London Marathon +3 weeks and a £500 boost

Well no slow up in the excitement after London.
Trying hard to keep myself motivated to keep up the running with every nagging little voice shouting "don't do it", I pressed the button for the 2013 ballot. Yes I know daft but true, with an immediate "why did I just do that?" thought running through my head I then splashed out a small fortune on entering the Great South too in October this year. I have half an hour to shave off my 2011 time and get close to my 10 mile PB and am already wondering whether my sanity is somehow impaired.
Fortunately we have just started a new beginner group at the running club, and with my dogged determination to get back to it, in spite of the little voices, we set out on our first session for one minute running and one minute recovery intervals x 10. How can one minute be so tough after 26.2 miles?
One of the group trying hard to get me to say something positive about myself as I went into normal "I am slow so will be at the back mode" and to be fair she has a point. The marathon is no mean achievement whether run in 3 hours or in 6 1/2, the distance is the same and I guess I am not such a bad role model for the slower runner who thinks that a marathon is only achievable for fast, very fit, people. I must now resolve to be more positive with my realism rather than negative. (Which also means I need some determination too for both training and the perennial weight issues)
And a fabulous surprise to boost my fundraising pot too, as  I received an email from the RealBuzz team to say I had won their London Marathon Expo draw to win a £500 donation to my charity. How exciting :-) that certainly has added the positive into my marathon step and will help to boost the coffers of the Prostate Cancer Charity too.

Roll on the next blog entry eh? How much more excitement can we get?

Oh and my fundraising page is still open, so if you want to join the RealBuzz team and their donation head on over to http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/SueTizard

Rule your mind or it will rule you

"The world is a looking glass. It gives back to every man a true reflection of his own thoughts.  Rule your mind or it will rule you." ~Buddha

Never was this more true than during the marathon. However I am getting ahead of myself. The first thing you want to know is time.....everybody does......it seems to be that you are "judged" on it, even if the person asking has no idea what is good or what is slow. That's not meant to be slating those who ask, it is just that as a rule that is always the first question. As a slower runner I always wince when people do. I know there are people at the running club who can run sub 3 hours for the marathon or near to it, so it makes my time seem incredibly slow by comparison. This year I completed the course in 6hours, 38minutes and 31seconds. 6.38.31. My previous time of 5.44.24 unlikely to have been bettered with my lack of training and my weight management issues, so to be fair, getting round was indeed the challenge, and this was the challenge I suspect for most of the charity runners, and slower runners who, like me, were hobbling along exhausted towards the end with all energy reserves used up, but that dogged determination to finish.
The day was long, we left home on the coach at 5.45am, arriving at Blackheath just after 8am. Time to head to the Blue start and the loo queues before putting our kit bags onto the many lorries to be ferried to the finish. The start seemed to come all too soon. 9.45 we were off, well we were moving towards the start line and 15 minutes later the start time mats were crossed.
Pace bands pre-printed to help me make it round between 6.15 and 6.30 (as all my race predictions were 6.20) were firmly stuck around my wrist and I avidly scanned at every mile to see how I was doing. Ahead of the pace for the first few miles, I knew I would fade later, and feeling comfortable just stuck with it. Each 5k mat crossed, each mile marker noted by my lap counter on my garmin, each step getting me closer to the finish line, but a long way to go yet.
A man alongside me shouting that he "was going too fast to make his expected pace" I wanted to tell him to make the most of it while he still could, I suspect he, like me, would be fading towards the end. After mile 1 we headed through the Olympic shooting event, nicely sealed off from the road we heard it but were not motivated to move any quicker to get away from it, my hope for speed thwarted. Passed a girl hobbling along and asked if she was OK, apparently had broken her leg last year doing the marathon so was back to try again. Poor girl 26 miles of hobbling would be crippling, I wonder if she made it.
Jog/walking along approaching Cutty Sark at 6 1/2 miles, I knew I would see first sight of some of the running club group who had come up to support and was on them almost before they noticed. Was feeling quite good at this point. A deliberate Run/Walk strategy meant that the walk times started to become longer as i tried to save my energy for later. Tower Bridge at the 20k mark was walked up to and run down the other side. So many people lining the bridge and all the streets so far, the support was deafening in places.
Heading for the half marathon point I veered to the centre of the road to see if I could see anyone heading back along the road working their way to the finish, and spotted another Totton runner, she was looking good and finished in 4hours 4 mins, I knew I still had a long way to go, making half way in 3 hours and 3 mins. Still good time, and still feeling fine. Got overtaken by "Big Ben, The Gherkin and St Paul's" not a great feeling, but I did manage to get past the Blackpool tower. So many people wearing costumes which in the heat would have been almost unbearable and in the wet getting so heavy.
Carb gels taken on board and Lucozade sport being drunk to keep energy levels up I started to flag at around 17 miles. The legs suddenly became heavy and I could start to feel the energy drain away. Reading lots of other runner posts on one of the forums afterwards, I discovered that mile 17 seems to have been a problem for a lot of people, even the faster runners, maybe the area we are running through at that point, but anyway mile 18 approached and the running club crew were there again in support, which really lifted me, but now I had resorted to a fast walk with minimal jogging. The head started to feel a little light, I knew my energy levels were dropping, all I could think was, "might be better to stop" and "will I hit the wall", that nasty nagging voice trying to get me to give in. Hah!, that little voice doesn't know me well then. I took another gel and spurred myself on again, then flagging again I got to mile 21 and there unexpectedly were the running group again shouting and screaming for me, and also the charity support group shouting for me. Never have I been so grateful to have myself boosted, and immediately I started saying to myself, "OK time to pull yourself together and get to it, no getting light headed here thanks we are on for the finish, only 5 more miles we can do this" immediately my head seemed to clear, I was positive and moving forward and I was going to finish, I had no doubt about that. I decided that if I had to walk then I would and that was it. Still checking the timings, I knew I wouldn't be too far off the 6 1/2 hours, so set to completing and see what happened. Striding out, the heavens opened and gale force winds it seemed like started whipping all the discarded rubbish around, along with the rain which was now falling steadily. I managed to get my prepared bin bag out of my waist pack and put it on, must have looked pretty funny as my arms were trapped in side, but was see through so that my name for motivation purposes was still visible.
The determination grew stronger as I strode to the finish, completely unaware at this time that someone had lost their life on Birdcage walk earlier on, (RIP Claire Squires), and as I approached there was a feeling of emotion welling up, I knew there was less than a mile to go as I headed towards Big Ben (the real one) and turned the corner. Ahead the 800 metres to go sign and I am wondering if I have anything left to give to manage a trot to the finish. Someone tried to cross the road in front of me and just laughed when I said "please don't" no way I could have taken a stop at this point or a diversion to avoid them. I removed bin bag to make sure I could get a decent finish photo and kept walking.
The announcers at the finish suddenly stating they were going off the air soon so I needed to check out my sprint finish. Turning the corner at Buck House (and I did look to see why I had missed it last time, but it is set back and not directly visible) and tried to wind my legs up for a trot, amazingly they worked and I immediately thought, "why didn't I try them before and get there a lot quicker?". Still, the finish line approached, I was prepared for the emotional hit, but think I must have been through all that already. Crossed the line and stopped to have the tag removed from my shoe, collect my medal and go for a finish photo, before collecting goodie bag and hobbling the long line of lorries looking for my race number section to get my own bag back. The legs had given up, the feet would no longer move me forward, I was now hobbling and shuffling. Amazing how I had been capable of moving fairly reasonably before the finish, but suddenly, no movement possible without pain. Adrenaline is definitely something useful there.
Post race reception for the charity was nearby, I hobbled up the steps to get to the Royal Society, and was welcomed through the door with a round of applause like a hero, made me feel very proud. Another photo taken, a congratulatory chat with Amanda Mealing the actress who played in Holby and a ticket received for a massage, along with a goodie bag of food.
The massage was welcome if a little painful and removing my socks revealed blisters all across the back of my heels, running shoes are not made for walking in obviously. Now wish I had brought sandals with me instead of my walking boots. But, blisters dealt with and patched up ready to make the journey home.
A long slow hobble to Waterloo station to get a train home, with a lovely comfy seat for over an hour, then home, at last.
Another marathon done, yes I was relieved to have finished, but I knew I would. The ballot for 2013 opens on 30th April; I am tempted to enter. I have a PB to obtain for my time from 6 years ago, and I know that this time I will be training more consistently and much better (famous last words).
So what next?
Well this blog may continue, but will have to change the name a bit, maybe a new blog to follow any future race progress, but also I have accepted a role helping at this year's Paralympics, and may yet get one for the Olympics, so looking forward to the training and support for that. In the mean time I go with my heading and say how very true..

"The world is a looking glass. It gives back to every man a true reflection of his own thoughts.  Rule your mind or it will rule you." ~Buddha

Convict..... I mean Runner number 18484

Well the day fast approaches. Hard to believe that I started thinking about this 2 years ago and now it is almost here. Mentally I feel prepared, physically I know I should have been much better prepared, but then I suspect that everyone says that regardless of their actual training up to the day.

Think it is going to be a long cold day, so disposible handwarmers have just made my shopping list. Just checked the weather forecast - showing partly cloudy around the start time, then raining by 1pm getting lighter rain showers by 4pm and into the early evening. Ah well at least it will be cool and overheating isn't likely.

Pasta party this evening as a gesture from the running club to wish us all good luck, if only my running skills were as good as my organisational skills I'd be laughing in the face of the marathon now.

The last couple of weeks since my "trot" have been fairly "tapered". After never wanting to run again I knew that was not the way to get round 26.2 miles, so a nice sunny Good Friday saw me taking off to run to my Parents house and back on a beautifully prepared route. Plan was a choice of 6, 7 or 9 miles, one for out and one for back. Went with the 7 to get there (planning the 9 to come back), set off, got completely disorientated at one point and was heading in totally the wrong direction (easily corrected) and had to turn back at another place as the path I had thought I could use turned out to be a private drive blocked by large iron gates....hmmmmmm, "right to roam" sprang to mind at that point, but hey in the end 8 1/4 miles later I was enjoying a nice cuppa with my folks. An offer of a lift back was tempting, but needed to work the now tired legs and see how it went. Chose the short and direct route of 5 3/4 miles back, total 14 and no after-effects. Think I am ready, now just to extend it to 26.2.

With no other run during the week and my exercise classes (except one Bokwa) also missing due to holidays etc I waited until the Sunday to have another little trot out of 4 1/2 mile, took me an hour, had to push for that...sooooo slow. But hey legs felt good, a bit of pace was there, so now bring it on.

Marathon Expo attended, number collected, convict picture taken for the Wall of Fame (see pic above), goodies collected from charity stall, pasta eaten, lucozade marathon survival pack acquired, pace bands woefully inadequate as they only go up to 5 1/2 hours. Pah!!! will make my own then, or as was helpfully suggested maybe I should have picked up a 3 and a 3 1/2 band and could have added the times together, that would keep my mind occupied eh?

Nothing else to do now except iron the letters onto my running vest, pack my bags, eat pasta, rest up and then...........will let you know on Monday :-) Oh and if you want to put some pennies into my charity fundraising pot for Prostate Cancer please follow the link, it will be open until the end of July so plenty of time. http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/SueTizard

Trot round the plot

Trot round the plot was the alternative name that my friend gave to the half marathon distance race we had both entered. Actually titled "Bolt round the Holt" I think her interpretation was probably far more accurate as for me there wasn't a lot of bolting going on. With 3 weeks to go to the marathon, I had yet to achieve a half marathon distance, not a good place to be, so headed off to take part in a trail event of 21k to see how I held up. A last minute change saw 2 of us entered for the 21k and and additional one for the 10k, on a suddenly chilly day after some glorious March sunshine.
Arriving in the car park field, we headed to register and claim our chips and numbers, found where the finish was (always important to know where you are finishing, and then off to prepare ourselves for the run.
Determined to get around, they lined us all up, setting the racers off in groups. 5k runners first, then 10k runners, then the 21k runners. (Well i say runners....) Not surprisingly within about 400metres I was trailing nicely, and with a 1k loop to do at the start then twice round the 10k lap, I knew it was going to be a long run. Can't call it racing, although I guess in effect the race is against myself and my mental strength to continue, when it would be so easy to say "sod it" and give up. I was happy with my pace, I do seem to have a little more of it when being race timed, even though for most it is slow, it is quicker than I have managed in some training runs, so I think it is all relative.
The course had few marshals, not a problem for directions, and sometimes i find their empty encouragement a little sickly (though some do genuinely mean it others seem to be just saying it and pitying you round) and the route was clearly marked with arrows, and it was very pleasant scenery to run through though extremely undulating with a few hills thrown in for good measure. I walked up a long incline and apologised to the marshal sat at the top, that it would be a long wait for me to get round for the next loop, while ahead of me I could see people already looping back to join the 2nd circuit. I wondered how long before i was lapped, and how I could minimise the damage of being overtaken by too many.
I surprised myself by running (or trotting) a lot more than I thought I would and was joined by a man on a bicycle to check I was OK and to let me know that I had the "dubious honour of being the backmarker"...um....tell me something I didn't know. He zoomed off to find the next slowest with my "don't tell me I don't wish to know how far ahead they are".
Joined by a 2nd cyclist "Angus" the "sweeper" of sorts as he kept disappearing and then coming back to find me later.
The first water station at 5k was already devoid of refreshments, just as well I was carrying my bottle then.
At 5 miles I had my first runner pass me :-( they were heading for home, I was heading for my 2nd lap. As the course split between "head to the finish" and "go round again", I spoke to the marshal there and said I had enjoyed it so much I was going round again. Waiting at the water station my 10k buddy, with gel and water to give me a boost. Famous last words "I'll trot with you for a while to keep you company and cool down a little" well the cool down trot turned out to be the whole 2nd lap and I must say the company was nice (though I am so used to running alone I find shouting at myself is fine, someone else shouting at me is irritating). The Garmin beeped for low battery, arrrrggggh no....... only 8 1/2 miles gone. So back up plan and "buddies" Garmin activated to capture the last few miles.
Same marshal at top of the long hill I had walked the first time, looked at me and said "Are you sure you want to carry on?" Hmmmmm red rag, bull and "of course" knowing full well she was obviously desperate to get home and would have to wait for me to go round part of the loop to pass her again.
Repeated loop was nice, I remembered where I was and could push myself to each marker, including watching people up in the trees on the Go Ape course.
Lady marshal however, did not wait around for me to return to her agan, she had gone leaving just a lonely yellow arrow to direct me.
Passing the water station for the seond time revealed 2 little cups of water on their own waiting for us. Angus had previously caught us up to see how we were doing and must have organised it ....bless.
With no-one else on the course now, it was starting to get to "severe talking to self" stage, but eventually the finish line approached and there were still a couple of people there to hand over my goody bag and medal. "I don't think anyone deserves this more than you" she said as she put the medal round my neck. Hey I did the same distance as everyone else, just a lot slower. in fact about 3/4 hour slower than the next to last. Oh dear!!! Marathon time prediction has shifted to a further half hour from previous predicted time, but I think i may ignore that, after all the marathon will be road and flat :-)
Oh and the garmin survived the remainder for the race, though it lost its power button and the battery is not great at holding a charge, so, a quick call to Garmin in Totton and it is now off to Garmin heaven to be "refurbished" while i get a nice new (well refurbed) one back, which i hope will have good battery life and get me safely round the marathon in a good time. Now wouldn't that be nice.
http://gallery.sussexsportphotography.com/a.tlx?k=340zher&pictureid=18092205to check out a nice photo of me almost looking like I am running.

What a difference in 5 weeks (A hare in tortoise shell clothing)

Partly changed my mind about this post as having written it I realised that with 11 weeks to go back at 6th Feb, I was still suffering after my laryngitis and cold, had no running in me since the beginning of January and was feeling a little unfit to say the least.

Fast forward to 5 weeks later, 11th March, and I have completed a 10k race in a reasonable time for me 2 weeks ago, a 10 mile race yesterday, in the same time (well one second quicker actually) that I did the Great South last October, and have really built my fitness levels back up to a good base point.

So while the blog postings may have been a bit slow, the exercise and fitness regime has certainly upped the pace.

I decided that once my throat started to feel a bit better I really needed to up the fitness levels, but with it still being cold outside I wondered at the wisdom of trying to get out in the cold night air to run with the club, so opted for some indoor cardio exercise AKA "Zumba" and "Bokwa" (Thanks to Anna for providing these super classes check out http://www.strutstrutfitness.com/)

Since the beginning of Feb I also decided that to get back to the running after starting on the cardio I needed to also get the legs back into the regime, so opted to take my own advice (wonders will never cease) and build up slowly. Well as slowly as would be possible with only 11 weeks before the marathon.

Starting with a few short walks of 3 miles or so (suddenly interrupted by an Ikea experience - oops) building up to the route for our Club race at 5 miles in the first week with 3 exercise class also completed.

Week 2 saw me back out to run/walk, agan starting with short 3 miles for 3 times that week along with another 2 classes.

Building the miles up again in week 3 I managed 2 five milers and a couple of classes before heading to a 10k race on the Sunday. A multi lap around Castle Combe race circuit, in glorious weather and with people continually passing me (something I know some people hate, but I love as it makes me feel I am actually in a race rather than just being at the back seeing no-one) Each lap getting progressively faster, I was happy with my time. the first marker but now 8 weeks to go and progress needed. predicted Marathon time at this point is now 6.21.23.

The next week saw 3 classes and a 7 mile run with the following week including 2 eight mile outings and a 3 mile soggy trot out midweek with 2 classes completed and a "have you lost weight" comment - yippee starting to tone up and feel much fitter. The week ended with a 10 mile race at Burton near Christchurch in glorious sunshine, again. And a few targets set to keep me motivated along the way. First decision was that I would run/walk so had to be strict with my walk breaks or at points I would have been carried away and overdone it. There was also a 20 mile race starting 15 mins after the ten. My first challenge to get to mile one before their race started - done tick, 2nd challenge to be past 2 miles when one of our fast club runners came past me (potentially for the first time) - done tick, next challenge to be past 3 miles before my friends I travelled there with came past me - done tick in fact 4 1/4 miles when they came past - I overestimated their pace (and underestimated mine). After 5 miles easier to settle into a pace, and was passed by a few people I knew who slowed for a chat and some encouraging words which kept me going nicely, then the final challenge to be at the finish before out fast runner finished his 2 laps (20 miles) - tick done. And the bonus - I was ONE SECOND quicker than when I ran the Great South last October. Not a great achievement when that was 6 months ago and I should have been so much further into my training, but definitely an achievement. Predicted marathon time now 6.21.08

Now with 6 weeks to go a half marathon to complete in 3 weeks and then get mentally prepared for the big one 3 weeks after that.

With the consistency in my race pace it looks like I am needing to add some speedwork into my programme, so will also give that a go and try to get that predicted pace a little lower by the half marathon.

Watch this space will blog again then.

All the best laid plans in ruins

Newly enthused for my training, I developed a slight cough, not too much to worry about, I thought, as I had similar before Christmas and away it went again quite quickly. This progressed to an impressive chesty hack and frothy sounding gurgle and rattle, followed by a touch of laryngitis that means my voice has been missing for a couple of weeks now (but is on the way back I hope).

Consequently the 10k, mid-January, I had signed up for was a No No. Breathing without wheezing has not been an option and even my Zumba class has had to be missed. (Shock horror, I really love that class)

To try and combat the ever increasing feeling of lethargy I opted to do a 10k walk at the Stonehenge Stomp (most others running the 10k or 20k or walking the 20k, or some brave fools running the 30k). I can tell I have not been exercising for a while now as I ached. It was, though a lovely morning, just ambling along with views of the stones in the distance, looking probably not as old as I was feeling. A very therapeutic experience indeed. But not a run.

While all the coughing and breathing issues have been going on, I feel a fraud for not actually feeling ill. Time for it to go please.

Hey ho, now it is 1st February. The marathon countdown clock is counting down much quicker day by day and my prospects for a quicker time than previously are looking slim. The run/walk programme is being brought into play, but I need to be out there to start it off. I still have no doubt I will get around it, but it is going to take me a lot of hard graft from now to get there.

I think in future I should plan not to make any plans and see what happens next. (having said that Lent fast approaches - the time of willpower for me; maybe the timing is just what I need)

Time to stop clowning around and get to it

Right then, to business.......... a brief summary of the blog to date
.......a couple of years ago I entered the Marathon ballot, knowing that I wanted to run it in April 2012. As soon as I had my acceptance for the 2011 race I knew I could defer and that as they say, would be that. Job done, 2012 here we come. So what did I do? Did I start immediately to get myself fit so that when the day arrived I would be incredibly fit and raring to go??? well no of course not, I deferred my training, by managing to fall over on a rock and bash my knee, which led to a loss of fitness and subsequently no motivation. This is where I have been for some time. It is amazing how the mental aspects can take over and lead the body into self destruction.
The Great South at the end of October was meant to be my kick-start to the training I needed, a good 6 months of building up to the big one would do the trick.
So.....The Great South. Well eventually I got myself out training, because I knew that I needed to have at least covered the distance to give me a fighting chance of getting around in one piece. The race day dawned and I had given myself a healthy slow target to achieve. At the pace I was training and capable of, a very slow 2 hours 15 would do me to prove I still could pace myself. Job done as I arrived at the finish at 2.17.19, legs tired at around 8 miles, so I knew I hadn't done the preparation, but a satisfactory conclusion nonetheless. The most worrying thing was finding myself thinking at around 6 miles "Am I supposed to be enjoying this as much as I actually am" and meaning it. It was great fun, the weather was perfect, a light drizzle and cool, loved every minute.

Next to train hard for my London build up........ but yet no setting foot outside the door took place. So what happened? Having opted to avoid club training sessions for a multitude of reasons, not least that my mind had slipped into beginner mode, something I encounter regularly with others who say "I am not quick enough to run with the club" My response, just get out there and do it, the mind is the problem not necessarily the body.

Anyway my mental state was such that I only managed, 2 runs of around 5 miles each between the Great South and Christmas, not really good preparation, and sees me looking at a very slow 7 hour finish for the marathon. (At which rate I might be able to go up there on the club coach but would definitely need to make my own way home)

So folks, time to up the ante.

Christmas came and went, then 2012 dawned. Ah!!! I am running the marathon in 3 months, let's get cracking....... and mentally something shifted.

A 5k race to "warm me up" around some beautiful grounds of a country house, and I didn't finish last (always healthy that) and I overtook people, and I managed to hold some youngsters off with the sprint finish.

Club training session the same day, 200m reps. I can run 200m eh? I managed 4 of those before my mind said enough (could have done a full 6, but......) walking the next day was tender, but achievable, then 2 days later a 4 mile run/walk with a friend as a build up to our 10k coming up mid January. Again leaving things until the last minute.

A punishing session with my personal trainer Helen followed. I have known her for years and she doesn't so much train me now as bully me incessantly for an hour on an irregular basis, something I know I need but try to resist as often as I can to no avail. (Everyone should have a Helen). So now I am aching from that session and wondering when my next run should be.

Maybe there is an easier way to do this?

Let me know if anyone can run a marathon without actually putting in the hard work for it. I don't believe it can be done, I know I need to get miles under my belt, I need now to believe I can do this, stop clowning around, and get cracking.

Timed or timeless?

October, the month of Autumnal leaves and burning orange heathers across the forest as the purple colour fades away. Ferns fading from green to brown and my training fading from bad to worse. Um.....well no actually the training is going pretty well :-)

I decided that trying to run out with others just was doing nothing for either my training or my confidence, so nothing for it but to be self sufficient.

I worked out that if I planned a run/walk strategy and practiced it well, it would come as second nature and I'd be on the way to dealing with the longer distances while still not being fully fit.

I have a Garmin 305 I ask to beep at me nicely every 2 minutes, every mile and when I drop below a certain pace. Armed with this my training runs have been fairly successful as I know when my next planned break is so can push myself until then.

Then disaster......... well actually no, success (see I am getting this positive vibe going eh?) I headed out for a planned 11k ish run, knowing it would be nice to be back by 10.30 (having set off at 9am) an achievable goal I thought. Until I got to the start of my run and found I had left my trusty Garmin at home. What to do?

Well, I thought.....let's just see how good my internal pacing clock is. So setting off on the planned course, I knew the pace I could comfortably travel at and I knew the time I wanted to be back by. Time to put this internal clock into practice.

Almost half way round I realised that I felt I was slower than I should be, so mentally revised my finish time to give me a range of 10 minutes rather than a set time. Look....I know I should have picked up my pace instead but that is another training plan entirely, I am still on the get me round principle.

So taking my walk breaks only when I really felt I needed them and goading myself into continuing on the running path otherwise, I started to settle into the run. I am certain I could have gone further, but will save that for another day. I arrived back around 7 minutes after my initial expected time to complete the run in 1hr 35. I felt good, I hadn't missed my watch and I had achieved my goal (sort of - but modified by the way i felt I was running not by looking at the watch to see)

The moral of the tale - ditch the watch every so often, go on a planned route and set yourself a time to be back. See how close you can get to that time and start to recognise your own feel for pacing. It gives you a different challenge for a run rather than always focussing on time or pace and does really make a difference to the way you feel.

I love Leap Years

Well no getting out of it now as the "Congratulations" magazine arrived today. A few minutes of panic as I suddenly wondered if in fact I had paid for my entry or if I needed to pay for it (in the financial sense as I know I will pay for it physically in many ways), but a quick check of bank statements shows I paid on 15th June for 2 years worth (last and this - see previous for explanations on this). So 6 and a bit months to go eh?

Interestingly I have been very unfocussed this far, even having known the date was approaching, and I have known I was doing this from October 2010 when I received my 2011 acceptance (see previous also). Something tells me I can ignore no longer.

As of today I have 206 days or 29weeks and 3 days or 6 months and 23 days including the extra day very kindly added into the training known as 29th February, which I am certain will make all the difference. Which sounds better I am not sure at the moment, but am banking on that extra training day :-)

How short is this post eh? Impressed???

Ha!!!! After all it is only money

Well here we are again, confused myself completely with the last post being dated 21st June when I know I posted it in July, so that'll teach me to hold onto a post for weeks before uploading it eh?

Anyhow, I know you are dying to find out how my training is progressing........well.......um........as expected.......it isn't :-( I know, I know, just get on with it, it'll be less painful if I keep going with it now than put it off and try again later, but.......

I think I may have been to the gym at least once since my last post, spent an hour and got sooooo bored that I had to get out of there before I screamed rather loudly. Mixed up the programme a bit by rotating the exercises rather than completely overloading one muscle then moving on to the next. Maybe not strictly the idea but surely the same effect with marginally less muscle soreness afterwards. Seriously that intro session really put me off and if it was meant to encourage me to continue and improve it, that certainly failed in its objectives.

But...how's the running? I hear you ask. Well again, things are not quite going to plan.

Calf muscles seizing after 15 minutes, hips (most probably tight ITB) giving me pain from the off and lower back tightness that really kicks in after a short while, have almost made it impossible to be out for more than half an hour. Something needs to be sorted or I shall not be doing any running anytime soon and the marathon will be even more of a challenge.

Along comes a lovely groupon voucher, offering a deal for 2 visits to an osteopath for £19 instead of £80. Snapped that one up quick, so decided to get some torture sorted of a different kind. A very nice Osteopath asked lots of important health questions and had I seen an Osteo before, to which I replied I had but felt that I was being brought back weekly to pay for a new car while everyone else was discharged after one or two visits. Famous last words then came from new Osteo....there should be no need to continue any treatment beyond a couple of weeks, we can sort you out. Ha!!! Like to see you try.

First problem.....pelvis may be out of line as a result of the fall I had last year (remember the pretty knee?) ah yes, leg length is different and pelvis a little out of line, so that sorted. (Ouch 1) neck and shoulders "Bloomin 'eck" or something similar, have never felt muscles as bad as that. Deep sigh from me. Nope not going to get the neck sorted I am afraid and I apologise for not being able to help more. Oh well that's more money to be thrown at the body then, maybe more massage will help first.

Next visit, day after a deep full body Thai massage, muscles much better :-) good stuff, back still OK but tight, shoulders/neck a little better but still no result. Maybe come back again....here we go!!! (Ouch 2)

Later that same day, couldn't walk, the pain was constant, how people who have more serious problems cope i do not know. Hot water bottle and lying down was the only was to feel better, so much for a day of rest!!! (Big Ouch 3)

Wondering if I can win the lottery and have daily massage to pummel the muscles into submission then maybe I could be fixed OK.

Oh yes and the running? well a couple of friends, who also find club nights difficult to keep up with invited me to join them on their short runs. around 7k and slowly increasing will mean improvement etc. Started fine until the back and ITB started causing problems.

OK another tack to try then...my Thursday morning ladies seem to have all disappeared for their holidays, so me, myself and I alone, had the enclosure to myself and worked a strategy I felt I could cope with, managed to push myself to get around run/walk styleee but finished feeling a sense of achievement. The next week was even better, much quicker and ready to develop onwards. I wonder if I can run/walk the marathon like that?

Final challenge for this blog was the first big Road Race League race of the season a 5 mile 2 lap race fairly hilly but short. Oh and look they do a 2 1/2 mile fun run being just one lap. Right done, 1 lap it is (the same distance as my Thursday run at the moment) I can run/walk and still be back at the finish in time to see the 2 lappers come in. Result!!! Well yes the result was I was last out of the 32 that ran in the fun run, most of whom were about 12, but I did it, my first race in a long time (and had the bonus of a nice policeman called Paul on his pushbike trying hard to stay on while I toddled round the course). But....I did it, I seem to have managed to get back onto the racing horse after a good few years absence, time to schedule the next one and start cracking at that long distance training build up.

But first I think I need to book another massage and some physio, let's get this ITB and back completely sorted. Ah well...after all it is only money!!! (Biggest Ouch 4)

The evils of a gym membership

So motivated was I by my one hour at the gym that the next day I decided I needed to get the actually membership sorted and decided to sign up for 6 months, while I was enthused and there was an offer on to encourage me. Then I promptly went down with a cold and found myself unable to exercise for nearly a week after. As I said...evil things these gyms.

So what to do having actually paid for the rest of June in membership and a regular DD ready to be taken from my account, I found that having signed up it was 12th July before I decided I really, REALLY needed to make use of that money spent, and besides I needed to collect my membership card.
Zumba class cancelled that evening, (my exercise for that day), so with no other place to be I had no excuses not to go, have to find an excuse somewhere. Can't find one, Oh bummer.

Collect membership card at desk...could go straight home again...but no..., stay for an hour on various bits and pieces then foolishly decide that the needs have to get the better of me, so sign up for a proper programme setting session. A Kickstart....is that a good name for it, we shall see.

3.30pm on a Friday afternoon, is that a good time for torture?

Headed to the gym, checked in then an evil trainer called Josh sat me down and went through some exercise/health questions with me to determine what torture he could devise. I tried to get him to make my weight lighter than it was, but the machine wasn't having any of that, so documented for future reference in its entirety along with the body fat and starting measurements. Hoping no-one ever breaks in and steals it eh? But a starting point to work from and of course can only get better.

"What would you like to achieve?" was the question....well "London marathon coming up so need to get fit for it, might like to start on endurance first and the weight loss will hopefully follow" "OK" says Josh "I think we'll go for some metabolism boosting weight loss stuff first then" hmmmm maybe it is a personal trainer trait thinking they know best what you need (or maybe they just do know best!!!) anyway the list seemed to go on and on and I asked whether it required me to be at the gym from 9am to dusk at which point I was duly informed that this should take around 60-75 minutes. (I guess that's not allowing for breathing or serious lack of motivation or even for avoidance of pain - hang on I am motivated, strike that bit, it is the inevitable pain I wish to avoid)

OK let's go and try some things out.....Oooooh fun time. Rower for warm up then some intervals....Yep can deal with that. Lunges and squats....Oh dear, let's just have a go and see we won't do the full amount of sets....good, then step ups....HOW HIGH??? um...this is going to hurt, we'll work this on one leg then the other, we'll just do the one for now...WHAT I shall be lopsided when I walk out of here and what's with the WE stuff? From here I think Cross trainer....intervals then some static machines (which we talked about but didn't actually do).....then back to the mats for some nice core stuff....Oh boy this is going to hurt lots. And to finish off a bike cool down for 5 mins. Then if I want to I can use the foam rollers to ease out the muscles. Hamstrings, ITB Quads and Calves. Hey what fun. Oh and nothing was mentioned about stretching, but as it is on the card I suspect that will need doing too.

So an hour later, I had talked through my programme, unsuccessfully managed to get him to work on things other than pain and weight loss stuff, with a projected review in 6 weeks time. Thank you very much and good night. Downside now is I only did less than half the programme designed for me and I am shuffling round like my quads and gluts are on fire today. I am seriously going to have to time my gym visits for days when I do not wish to run within 48 hours after.

The gym is just too evil to contemplate.....but.....needs must with the marathon challenge looming large. Hey ho bite the bullet and plan some more torture. I will let you know once it starts to improve (or not as the case may be)

The Perils of Motivation

Right then no excuses any more, I have 10 months to get fit, lose some weight, remain uninjured and complete hours and miles of training, just so I can put myself through the torture of 26.2 miles on a Sunday morning in April with around 38000 others. Hmmmm remind me why this was a good idea again?

So what next?

My ladies group I take out on a Thursday morning all decided to run in the local carnival race on the Wednesday evening. "I think we may not run in the morning" they all decided. Nothing to stop me though, on my own, from going out and running eh? Well nothing except the heavens opening and rain deluging at a vast rate of raindrops. Hmmmm not venturing out in that......

So a pang of conscience and I took all the nice coats and jackets off my clothes horse, I mean cross trainer, dusted it off and jumped on for a 10 minute warm up. Blimey it still works!!! 10 minutes quite enough as the back started to tighten, so right, onto something else. I know, I have some old step videos from my aerobics days I'll put one of those on. Reebok step taken out of box and dusted off, video started. I knew how to do all this once, and of course it is an instructor video so moves at ten times the pace you would teach in a class. Lost the routine by the middle of the 2nd section (there were only 3) so once the whole thing was put together I followed the first and made up the rest, vowing to "teach the woman a lesson and learn the whole thing over the next few weeks to keep her on her toes". A dance DVD came out next, but after 5 mins (of a 10 minute piece) I was bored...not really what I needed. So decided I was now feeling incredibly virtuous and put everything away, restoring my coats to their rightful place.

Weather eased and everyone helpfully suggested I could now go for my run........what? Massage called anyway...excuses excuses.

Arriving home later there was a message from a fellow runner who suggested I might like to join her for a slow, gentle 5k run now that the sun was out in the evening. Choice now eh? I could ignore it and pretend I haven't seen the message or I could just get out there and do it. Something about this motivation lark isn't there, as I had arranged to meet and was out the door before you could say..Neighbours and Home and Away are on!!!

Friday morning loomed and a 3 day "free" trial at a local gym was registered for. Need to put some effort in now to get myself to full fitness ready for my impending doom, I mean challenge, and to be fair I need bullying really. So toddle off to said gym with all my gear in a nice bag. Going to make the most of the FREE!!!

Thwarted, however, by lockers that need padlocks and none available, so full day of gym, swim (well dunk and drown) and sauna was scuppered by not being able to leave stuff somewhere handy. Note to self...purchase large padlock in readiness for membership (Oh dear I am thinking of signing up already - that's worrying)

A quick tour of the facilities, and head to the gym equipment. I remember now why I stopped going to the gym before.....terminally boring, but needs must and I have some training to do, so just choose the bits I know I need to work on and get cracking with it. Cross trainer, chest press, bike, wanted an incline chest press but couldn't find one, and lat pull down was occupied, so onto the rowing machine then for some 500m intervals. Avoid fitballs and stretch mats and decide enough is enough for a first trial, bemoan the fact that a nice swim and sauna now would have been good, and head home for lunch. Worked up an appetite at least.

A friend who is also a member at said gym tries to persuade me I'd like to go back again this evening. I think too much of a good thing can't be good for you, or too much too soon will do me in. I have seen too many people join the running club and get so inspired they run themselves ragged and have to give up, so me....I shall be sensible and wait. After all, tomorrow is another motivated day.

Cheers to my Entry - Update.

Just a brief update (Is that possible?) Cheque for the entry went into the post with a long verbose letter (is there any other kind?) stating my case for previous non payment. In my hurry to send it I just headed for the post box and fingers crossed decided I would give them until the next Wednesday and I would contact again. (What no registered/recorded letter??? I hear you cry.....Um....no!!!!)

Daily checking of email showed nothing, Wednesday arrived (15th June so still 9 days to the deadline date) and I decided to phone again.

A very nice lady answered, "How can I help?", she said. I explained about having sent the cheque and she confirmed it had not been received. Mild panic before I asked, "Can I pay by card over the phone?" short pause while I held my breath, "Oh yes of course".....huge sigh of relief followed by irritation at previous Male (un)helpfulness.

I explained my conversation on Friday and she seemed completely unphased. "Well obviously we prefer cheque.... but there's no problem, I can deal with that now and you will get the link later today"

Regular email checking during the day and sure enough, early afternoon the email with the link appeared. I just needed my runner number to make the final link.....I think I have it somewhere.

Previous year's information found, email checked, link completed, more money paid and a nailbiting wait for the "Thank you for completing your 2012 Virgin London Marathon ill or injured entry, we can confirm that you now have an entry for the 2012 Virgin London Marathon."

I am hopeful that my cheque in the post will not constitute a duplicate entry to cancel all the work I have just done, but I think that is a straw clutching idea, so....

Ah!!!! Penny drops!!!

10 months to go then....better start training (have I heard that before somewhere?)

Everyone MUST pay!!!

I have hit a BIG snag in my 2012 plan and it may just cost me the whole London Marathon place, unless I cross everything very tightly and wish on several shooting stars all at once in unison with pink pigs flying overhead and chocolate bunnies dancing in the moonlight. (not sure about the chocolate bunnnies but the thought was pleasant)

"So what's the problem?" I hear you ask. Well. When my 2011 Marathon acceptance magazine came through I happily immediately withdrew as the written text said to do this if you knew you would be ill or injured and that an email would arrive in May 2011 to offer entry for 2012. I knew already I was entering for 2012 so magazine in hand, withdrawal completed on computer, why wait? I had checked all the info on the website, there was no mention of having to pay.

I then sat back and waited for my email to arrive and after 27th May the due date, came and went, I had still heard nothing, so I thought I had better phone them up to check.

"According to our records you haven't paid so therefore you haven't received an email link" I was told.....Aaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh what????? "I was never asked to pay" I said. Well says the man at the other end, "you got a magazine didn't you? it said so in the magazine, so if you want the link, you have to pay for last year and then we send the link so you can pay for next year". Hmmmmmmm I had thought at the time that maybe not having to pay twice was too good to be true. No such thing a as free London Entry postponement.

"So..." he continued "....if you send a cheque for the £28 for the 2011 entry we can send you the link to pay again for 2012" (I am mildly paraphrasing now as I was getting very twitchy and could see my London 2012 place slipping away rapidly).

I found him extremely intimidating as he spoke accusing me of ignoring the payment bit, which I genuinely didn't know I had to do. Then I found the magazine. It clearly says about withdrawing and states the place for the following year will be open provided the entry dates are adhered to and the relevant fee paid. This does not state for which year the fee is relevant. Nor was there anywhere in the withdrawal process that checked whether I had paid for my entry if I wished it to be carried over to 2012. Nor was there anywhere that stated YOU MUST PAY FOR THIS BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING ELSE. (That would have been good and clear eh?) I had to put the phone down on him I was getting very frustrated and I found his attitude very confrontational.

Then I had a eureka moment.

I do not think I received a payment email for 2011 because I withdrew my entry before they were sent out. At least that is my story and I am sticking to it. I really have no recollection of an email arriving asking me to pay for an entry I had already withdrawn from. If indeed I did receive one I would have ignored it as nowhere in the withdrawal process did it say I needed to pay after withdrawing. Oh dear......I knew that if I entered and got injured just before the marathon I could defer my place then and would obviously have paid for it. But I didn't want to run for 2011 so I assumed the withdrawal meant I had withdrawn free of charge and transferred to the following year. Bad explanation I reckon and interestingly I have written to tell them this, so watch next year's acceptance magazine for more clarity (I hope). And maybe he was really just informing me that I did now have to pay to secure the place then get another entry payment in, but there might have been better ways of him saying it.

Anyway I re-composed myself and phoned again to speak to the same fellow, who calmly listened while I suggested I may have found the reason for my non-payment. He advised that if I sent a cheque now, outlining what I had mentioned, for the 2011 entry I still had time to get the link and enter for 2012 as that has to be done prior to 24th June.

Panic time, letter written with long explanation (I must learn to start being more concise) and now need to cross everything for the link to come through so I can pay yet more money to enter and claim my 2012 place.

If only I'd listened to people at the time expressing their surprise at my insistence for non-payment, and in future I might be tempted to enter first and pay the fee, then consider deferral later.

Hang on ...what am I talking about?? There isn't likely to be a next time is there!!!

There was something to be said for the old system where you sent a cheque then you knew that if you had a place it was paid for and if the cheque got returned or just not cashed, then you weren't in (follow that if you can?). So much more simple than leaving people to try and understand their stupid explanation of the rules. I wonder how many others may have been caught out by withdrawing prior to the acceptance/payment emails coming through and thinking "well I've withdrawn so why pay?".

A further check to the online marathon site and their info is slightly updated but still ambiguous, but hey I should be thankful that I chose to phone today and not after June 24th.

Anyhow, please cross everything, I only have 2 weeks to make sure I get my place, otherwise I may just have to change my blog title.

LENT for a while then taken away again???

Lent started with a rush of Willpower. A giving up of anything with Wheat in it and a 5 day detox to begin with and kick start the 6 ½ weeks up to Easter.

“The Harcombe Diet” provided me with a 5 day Phase 1 diet plan to boost me onto the right path and to help shift some blubber and thus remove the lethargy towards my training and fitness.

A 5 day eating plan removing all carbohydrate intake meant I was brimming with energy, had lost nearly 7lbs (in 5 days!!!) and could see the next target on the scales looming large at me.

6 weeks on and the scales are still looking at me with that “well where is the rest” attitude….oh it may just have numbers on it but I can tell it isn’t impressed with my lack of continued progress in the weight loss department. Though at least I have not yet managed to get myself back to where I started. I have found a new operating level, which is fine for the moment.

From Phase 1 I headed into Phase 2, which in brief meant no mixing of Carb foods with anything remotely animal/fat related. So no bacon butties, no jacket potato with cheese, no fish and chips!!! Just meat/fish with veg or quorn chilli with Jacket potato etc. which is fairly straightforward and of course for me extremely healthy, but after a while my lack of love for vegetables meant I started to dream of a roast dinner with all the trimmings (mixing potatoes and meat together!!!!). I know many people who would be happy with a plate of just vegetables and meat, but sadly I am not one of them, so this is a serious challenge for me.

Being wheat free is also a challenge but that gets easier with time, label reading becomes the norm and with no bread I am suffering much less with any indigestion.

Not combining the foods was straightforward to begin with. The aim - to eliminate blood sugar swings and other potential food intolerances, cutting cravings for food that is caused by these intolerances. And to be fair, my need for food has decreased and I am happily restricting my eating to 3 times a day with lack of snacking in between, which completely changes from my previous continual grazing habits. So something good to come from this so far. However as time progresses I notice I am choosing not to eat at all rather than eat more of the same thing, so I know my time with this "diet" is coming slowly to an end before I create other problems for myself through not eating at all.

So, 6 weeks in I find I am starting to slip. Bacon and Eggs is a nice start to the day, but nicer with a few potatoes and maybe beans and a slice of toast (even wheat free bread at this stage would be nice). Crisps (being my main downfall) suddenly have shifted from the supermarket shelves to my shopping basket and I am looking for alternatives to just eating salad and chicken for my lunches. Not being a great vegetable lover I have found this challenging and am building up to a good roast dinner with all the trimmings mixing the meat with potatoes and veggies all at once on Sunday.

What this has shown me is that I can do willpower (for the 5 day plan with no problem) and that with effort I can do the weight loss
With between 7 and 10lbs lost (depending on severity of previous days “cheating” or food avoidance) I am now on the way to better fitness, but as yet have not cracked it.

Time to plan the next phase before my willpower dries up completely and continue the good work I have started.
So a food diary next and watching what I eat then it’s increased exercise time.

The only person who can change the way I am is me and I need now to concentrate on my will power after all if I continue to do what I have always done I will always get the same results, so change is needed in order to change the outcomes I need. Phew.

So onwards and downwards (in weight) with more planning now needed.

Then next....the exercise regime.

The final puzzle piece AKA Who LENT me this Will Power?

Suddenly overcome with a vision of inspiration (can I have one of those?) I realised that each and every year I have my period of resolve and determination, right there in front of me.
It is called LENT!!!
Now don't ask me why I have such resolve and willpower during those 7 weeks but somehow it seems to work, and no I am not a religious person, so the meaning has no real significance for me, apart from the ability to stick with whatever I decide to do/give up etc.
WOW don't know why I didn't think of this before (well obviously it only happens before Easter so kind of precludes doing so at any other time of the year).

Anyway.......Lent fast approaches for 2011 and with a late Easter this year I have from now (28th Feb) until 9th March to PLAN my attack for this year, that gives me just over a week to plan my 7 weeks of determination.

More to follow.....really soon........honest

He who fails to plan, plans to fail

Looking back to my earlier posts I seem to have been frequently ignoring my own advice, in spite of my desire to start being my own best friend, this best friend has not been good in the support department.
My wisdom to other runners seems to be helpful in many ways. How to increase training gradually, hints and tips for getting the best from their workouts, motivational spiel for training sessions, and recommendations for massage help when needed. I have numbers for Sports Massage, Physios, Personal Trainers that I happily pass on to others, so now tell me why I am so reluctant to use them myself to get my knee problem fixed, why I avoid visiting the doctor to get my breathing sorted once and for all, and why i won't allow myself to improve?

I feel my biggest problem at the moment, is not that I don’t have a goal, as I most certainly do, but that having a goal in itself is not enough. I need to plan how to get to that goal, I need to set out the steps I will take to get me there, otherwise as I read somewhere recently that without a plan it isn’t a goal at all, it is just a wish.

April 2012 and the London Marathon for that year is fast approaching and I am not yet off the starting blocks, so it will make a tough 26.2 miles, I know how tough, I have been there before and this time I wanted to be better than I was previously. Maybe I have a fear of not being better that causes me to hold back so I have an excuse when I do not achieve it. This of course would be much easier than putting in the hard work required to make me improve so that I can be better and fulfil my goal potential. The easy option then!!! So what is so difficult about achieving success?

Maybe it isn't really that difficult, maybe it is because I am unprepared and unplanned to achieve that it seems so difficult.

OK so maybe trying to think about 2012 is not helping, it is a while away and I am currently not fit to run at all let alone 26.2 miles, but I don’t need to run it now I need to run it in 16 months time. Plenty of time to implement a new plan with small steps to achieve along the way, but still there is definitely a plan required, and once that is in place, then I do actually need to work towards it in order to achieve it in the end.

So to inspire me further my first interim goal is now set to help focus me along the way, I have entered a half marathon at the end of May, which I need to be my starting focus for fitness. I need a plan NOW to bring it into focus and the longer I leave it, the more difficult it becomes.

I know I am not alone with this problem, and I know that others overcome the feelings of malaise, so I need to plan and then execute the plan with determination and in small chunks or steps. Fitness will not come by itself it does require some input to achieve, this is my first start point. In one of my favourite quotes at the moment
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit” – Aristotle.
So today I am getting my required training habits down onto paper and making each step to fitness a goal in itself.
Give me those training habits again, and just watch me go.

The Flaw in my Grand Plan

OK Folks, this post was heading in a slightly different direction before the London Marathon Magazines started arriving on doormats.
As anticipated the blow to my plan to run in 2012 has arrived. I have an acceptance for 2011. After I had picked myself up off the floor after laughing so hard, because that, as they might say, is typical. When you want to get in you can't, when you want a rejection it seems you can't get that either :-)

Now, many people would be very pleased with this outcome, after all, that is what you enter the ballot for isn't it? But I have a plan.......albeit a very vague plan....and that is to be running the 2012 London marathon. After all how can I tell people I am taking part in London 2012 otherwise?

The next step........well do I pay for my entry to secure the place? Then in time defer it to the following year at which time I pay again the following year when I go to take up my place.
Is it worth double the cost to get in?

But no.....wait.....there is an option outlined in the congratulations magazine. I can withdraw from the 2011 race, and I will then receive an email next May asking me if i wish to take up the 2012 place, at which time I assume I will need to pay.

Well there you go. So the decision, do I train like mad and run in a year I really don't want, do I pay and then defer, or do I withdraw and hope they don't forget me next year, because if they do by then I will have missed the ballot?

Decisions, decisions.

But really not much of one. With my knee still not working fully, and my training at present limited to two very short sessions a week, I know I have a long way to go to be marathon fit.
So.....the withdraw button was pressed and I now have 18 months to get fit, trained up and be ready to run the 26.2 miles around London in 2012.

Why did I want to do this again?

Ah yes.....because I am MAD!!!